Wartime Reflections: Let’s Face it…Chicks Dig a Fighting Man
Feminists, progressives, multi-culturalists, limp-wristed masculine apologists—read no further, unless you’re looking for a reason to be angry. If you are, by all means continue for despite current cultural norms, I am led to declare a fundamental truth I’ve come to know.
Chicks dig the warrior.
You know it. I know it. Maybe you’re afraid to admit it.
If you’re a man, at some level, you want to be a fighting man. Perhaps years ago, you fancied closing with and destroying the enemy, but you’ve chosen another path. Blood never stains your well-manicured hands, but there’s a part of you that wishes it did. A savage part of you deep within longs to have your mettle tested on the fields of battle…and to see the women swoon.
Women, you know it too. Maybe you oppose culturally imposed gender norms. You detest gender stereotypes and think boys playing with dolls is as legitimate as females serving in the infantry. Any hint of patriarchy infuriates you but deep down, you love a fighting man. You can’t help it, it’s in your nature. Now, I’m not stipulating a bodice-ripping romance novel cover type scenario…but I’m not ruling it out either.
You want to swoon. I know you do! Go ahead.
A Warrior for a Reason.
I had meant to list the reasons a man might bear arms, but instead of speaking on behalf of all men, I’ll speak for myself. The reasons I fight:
– Primary reason—I was in the Army when the war started. Not sexy, I know.
– I drank the Kool-aid and bought into larger themes, originally the defense of ‘Murica, but later themes of good versus evil and the need for strong and courageous men to confront that evil.
– I find closing with and destroying the enemy intensely satisfying.
– For my buddies to my left and right.
– To protect my women, my daughters and wife, from the wicked aspirations of evil men.
– For my wife. She digs a fighting man.
There’s something overtly masculine about engaging in battle, conquering an obstacle, bending an enemy force to your will. It’s no coincidence that armed conflict provides a perfect outlet for young men, many of whom view the application of violence as a perfectly legitimate alternative in some situations. As such, it becomes a matter of harnessing said instincts and focusing them rightly.
I grew up playing football and I distinctly remember relishing in getting kitted up for ‘battle’. Marching to the field of friendly strife, surrounded by my brothers, preparing for battle with the enemy—I became a warrior and few things satisfied more than vanquishing a foe on the gridiron.
But did the cheerleaders notice? Coincidence that I married a cheerleader?
Fast forward 25 years and it’s much the same. I was privileged to be part of a small combat team responsible for rapidly responding to bad guys on the move. We’d get the word and everyone would sprint to the aircraft, gear up in an instant, and pile into the helos. As quickly as possible, we’d bring the aircraft online while the ground force locked and loaded, did final checks. Within minutes, we’d taxi as a group across the ramp, a convoy of imminent death and destruction, armed to the teeth, ready to descend from the bright desert sky onto the unsuspecting heads of whatever unfortunate bad guy had fallen into our purview. Other warriors stood and watched with respect as we taxied by. Did some kneel in reverence? My heart might just beat right out of my chest.
If only Ami could’ve seen, I’m sure she would’ve been impressed!
Maybe Conan answered it best:
“Conan! What is best in life?”
“To crush your enemies—see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of the women.”
If you’ve never heard of Conan, do push-ups.
Yes, chicks dig the warrior. I’ll make no concession or caveat.
Okay, I’ll make a caveat.
Warfare demands courage and strength but courage and strength is not necessarily confined to the battlefield. Warriors prowl this planet in many different forms fighting on many different fronts. My friend refers to them as “fire-breathers.”
Chicks dig a fire-breather.
I read of a man with a sick son, a truly sick son. He battles a lifelong illness and in addition to the litany of medications, frequent hospital visits, and other treatments, he requires a very specialized diet. This diet is ultra-strict and inconsistent with standard American cuisine. This father has taken upon himself to be the primary food preparer. He spends countless hours each week preparing special meals for his son, freeing his wife from the task.
I know of still another man who walked away from his promising career while still in his prime. His wife had been diagnosed with cancer and he walked away without looking back to dedicate himself to be her full-time caregiver. For two years as she wasted away, he was there by her side, all the way to the grave. “I was able to love and honor and cherish.”
I know of another man who stood by his wife for years as she drifted in and out of affliction, as she betrayed him time after time. This man refused to relent and over time, his love won out. They remain happily married to this day, having conquered the demons of affliction.
Chicks dig a fire-breather. They want a man who will sacrifice for them, sure on the physical battlefield, but really on the battlefield of life. They want a man who will fight, whatever the battle, who will fight and sacrifice for those he loves. The physical battlefield demands strength and courage but these fights often demand a far greater measure. Yes, you’ll die for your wife, but will you live for her?
And don’t think that working those ridiculous hours meets the criteria. Work hard, but that’s not what she wants. Who are you really working for anyway?
The Greatest Battle.
I remain resolutely convinced that the greatest desire in a woman’s heart is for her husband to lead, spiritually. Women desire a man engaged in the greatest battle, the battle for the souls of men.
Unfortunately, the overwhelming majority of men sit on the sideline of this battle. Men have abandoned the church in droves, abdicating their role as the spiritual leader of the home, leaving it up to their wives to hold it together, to train their children in the ways of Christ. Many women make a valiant effort, all while pining away at the lack of their husband’s spiritual engagement.
Scripture is clear in assigning the role of spiritual leader of the home to the man. Scripture calls the man to lead well, to love his wife as Christ loved the church, to lead and teach her spiritually, to wash her in the water of the word of God. (Ephesians 5) Scripture calls the man to teach his children the ways of the Lord, to discipline them, and to disciple them.
I’m sorry if you didn’t want this role. God assigned it just the same. It just is. Most of the godlessness in our society is directly attributable to men shrinking from this battle. Maybe you’ve been tested in warfare. Maybe you’ve fought another battle courageously. Are your engaged in this one, the most important one? Why not? What is holding you back?
It’s not just that she desires this. She needs it. Desperately. She is desperate for your spiritual engagement and leadership. Though this should not be your prime reason, if it’s a reason, engage and see if I’m not right. I’m sure you’ll eventually come to the same conclusions as I did.
Chicks dig a warrior, a fighter, a fire-breather. Who is the woman in your life? Would you be that man for her?
Author - Founder
Soldier, Pastor, Author – Bradford stays busy, with his wife Ami, raising their 9 children, serving the nation, pastoring, preaching, and writing books (#3 is due out October ’17).
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